Before the real craziness of going back to school, I wanted to offer a few suggestions from our tradition. We know transitions are difficult and we know that school in a post pandemic age has been particularly challenging. So here are a few suggestions to help ease you and your family back.
You don't need to do them all, just pick a few that work for your family.
Tips for going back to school
Something new - get something new for you. Your child will get new sneakers or a backpack or a new first day of school outfit. Make sure not to forget yourself in the process.
Set aside time to connect - make sure you srty aside a fixed time to connect, with your partner, yourself and of course your kids. Asking how was school today on the ride home is important, but they may not be open to talking at that time. Maybe before bed, maybe at dinner is a better time.
Learn their language - I have often heard kids use words I never heard before. Words like Bruh, Slaps, Bet, Slay seem to have meanings I don't get. Learning to listen to their language will save you time in trying to figure out how you can help. Learning when they are hungry or sad, or anxious is really what we ought to be working on.
Cut back on activities - our kids are over programmed. Make some choices for them. Now is the time for kids to remember they have down time or I used to call it in my day, "time to veg out."
Add family activity - no matter the make up of your family, family time is critical to feeling safe and secure. They may fight this at first but they will come to appreciate it. Maybe a game night, or a movie night or a craft night or just make your own Sunday. The effort will pay huge benefits in the long run.
Find a consistent routine and stick to it - our children find safety in routine. They thrive when they know what is coming. Whether it is bedtime, dinnertime, homework time, knowing what is coming is critical to development. Regular repsonsibilities also create structures, making their bed, taking out the garbage, folding their clothes, are part of gaining a sense of ability and accomplishment.
Be honest and positive - we have no idea what is around the corner. We have endured so much. The kids see things, they hear things. Be honest with them, in and at an age appropriate, about what is going on in the family and the world. Tell them how it might affect them or that it won't at all. Always remain positive, the energy you bring to every conversation is often more important that what you actually say.
Expectations should be about kindness not grades - remind your children that grades aren't what is most important. The type of human being they are is. Tell them to be kind to others. Tell them to be respectful of their teachers. Tell them to share and be grateful for what they have.
Make a commitment to come to synagogue - Community is important. it grounds us, it gives us a sense of belonging of being part of something bigger. Our synagogue is a safe place whether it may be from COVID or other security concerns. We work hard to make sure this is a place everyone feels comfortable. Get out of the house and come to the synagogue for a service, for a program or for a class. It is an adventure.
We will greet you with open arms or with a fist bump if that is more comfortable for you.
Finally, call me anytime. I want to be part of your family. I want to help you on your journey. I am a resource you might not think will be of any help, but who knows? I might be.
Welcome to Rabbi's Corner. This is a stream of Rabbi Stein's דברי תורה (divrei torah, words of Torah).
